The first time Chimkasi began to stimulate herself had been in her bedroom. She was reading one of Mills and Boon erotic literature when she began to fantasize being suckled by her crush, Ayomide.
Without thinking, she kept the book aside, grabbed her pillow and made thrusting movements on it. Slowly at first. Then, faster until she achieved an orgasm. (at that time, she didn’t know what she did)
She was dumbfounded. She couldn’t tell what she had done until she came across the name when she was in SS3 in English Class during Vocabulary Development.
‘What is this?’
Ogechi, one of her classmate had asked Mr Davies.
‘Is the meaning not on the board?’
Mr Davies retorted
‘Stimulating your genitals with…your fingers for…sexual pleasure? Sir, I don’t understand. Please explain’
There was an uproar. Girls were giggling, and boys were hooting which is their normal behaviour anytime sex was mentioned.
Mr Davies, a pious man looked uninterested at the interest of the students.
‘The meaning is self-explanatory,’ he said, ‘ there is nothing left to say’
That was when she knew that she was masturbating.
The term sounded the same way lesbianism sounded. Like an abomination. She vowed to stop the act. It was evil.
However, she didn’t stop. She couldn’t stop. She found it very exciting. She would thrust on her pillow fully clothed. Other times, she would be naked, her fingers deeply embedded in her vulva stimulating herself senseless until she was caught in the act.
The house was quiet. Her mother had gone to the market. Dumebi, her younger sister and only sibling was sleeping in the other room.
The feeling seized her like a convulsion. She closed her eyes and imagined Ayomide on her. He started with her mouth, nuzzled her neck. Gingerly, he reached for under her blouse and cupped her breast. She could feel him suckling her nipple.
Immediately, she removed her blouse leaving her bra on. She pulled down her shorts and panties. Then, she placed her pillow between her thighs and began to thrust. She was moaning loudly.
‘What are you doing?’
Chimkasi was shocked. She quickly removed the pillow from under her thighs.
Dumebi said nodding her head slowly,
‘That woman at the talk show said that it’s evil. I will tell…’
Chimkasi rushed over to her and clasped her hands over her mouth. Kneeling down, she begged,
‘Please, don’t tell mum’
‘I want to check my Facebook account’ said Dumebi
Chimkasi was infuriated. This was the tenth time Dumebi would be checking her account that day. Why did I even allow her to use my phone to open the account?
‘I’m not giving you again. When you have your phone, check it’
‘I want to check it now’
‘Chimkasi! her mother called.
‘Ma,’ she replied as she took her phone and went to the kitchen.
When she got to the kitchen, she placed her phone on the counter top.
‘ Wash the rice,’ ordered her mother who was slicing tomatoes in cubes.
After washing the rice, she didn’t see her phone. Enraged, she stormed off into Dumebi’s room where she saw her with the phone.
Chimkasi slapped her.
Dumebi stared at her in disbelief. She screamed as she pushed her running to the kitchen.
Chimkasi raced after her. But by then:
‘Mummy, I saw Chimkasi using her fingers to play with her vagina’
Her mom paused her slicing. Then, she looked up at her two daughters.
‘ Go to my room’
‘The two of you ‘
In her mother’s room, Chimkasi was fuming with anger at her sister. The betrayal reminded her of last year. Her boyfriend Ayomide had cheated on her with her girlfriend.
Her mother came in and sat on the bed.
‘ Dumebi, what did you say Chimkasi was doing?’
Dumebi looked at Chimkasi, then at hands and said, ‘ She was playing with her vagina’
‘ Look at me when you’re talking,’ she snapped.
Dumebi looked at her
‘What is it called?’
‘ So you know the name’?
‘ The woman at our girls talk spoke about it.’
‘What did she say?’
‘What did she say?’ her mother asked again.
‘She said that it was against the Bible’
‘Did she show you the verse where the Bible out rightly condemned it?’
Dumebi shook her heard
‘Have you started doing it?’
Dumebi looked back at her hands.
‘ Look at my face and answer me’
‘ Yes ‘
Chimkasi’ s mum heaved. ‘ Listen carefully to what I’m about to say, ‘ she said looking them in the eye.
‘ Religion disproves it but science approves it. I think it’s a normal behaviour that is bound to happen to every young person. However, when you do it often, it becomes an addiction and that’s a problem’
‘ Mummy, do you do it?,’ Chimkasi asked.
‘ Yes, even babies do. ‘Look, you’re getting matured and your interest for sex is increasing. When you masturbate, you’re exploring your body’
‘ So, you mean when I put my fingers in my vagina and enjoy it, it’s normal?, ‘ Dumebi asked.
‘ You’re completely normal ‘
‘ But the woman said that it’s evil’
‘ I believe it was the way people take videos of themselves masturbating that led her to condemn it. People who do such are allowing it to control them. Self control is key ‘
‘ So, it’s okay to do it but it’s not okay to do it all the time,’ said Chimkasi
‘ Exactly. You have to moderate your actions’
‘I guess we’ll be having talks like this. It seems the one in school is not being totally honest with you. If you have any problems in school, let mum know okay?
‘Don’t hide secrets from me.’
Chimkasi and Dumebi replied.
Chimkasi felt happy that her mother had cleared her doubts, confusion and suspicion about the act.