Marriage is not something to rush into. Take time to work on yourself and prepare for it so that when you marry you will know how to handle the marital challenges. Don’t just marry anyone available—the person may not be right for you. Don’t assume you will change him when you marry him or her. It’s only God that changes a person.
This is one of the major causes of crises in marriage, thinking “I will change him when I marry him.” And when the person refuses to change you will start quarreling everyday. A lady told me about the man she wanted to marry and when I asked her a particular question about the man, she answered, “I will change that when I marry him.” I told her that she was not God or Holy Spirit that she could change a person. Don’t think you can bear with an attitude in him/her. You may think you can accommodate it because you are new in the marriage, but five to ten years later you will not be able to bear it and then you will want to ask for a divorce.
Today is certain and it will soon pass, but tomorrow is yet to come, so don’t allow marital pleasure to drag you into marrying a person you know you would dislike tomorrow. Always think about tomorrow and not today. What looks good to you today may look totally different to you tomorrow. Are you sure that you are truly in love? Is it love or infatuation? Infatuation dies after a while, but love lasts.
If a man does not respect you while you are in a relationship, why do you think he would respect you when he marries you? A man who is not proud of you when you are dating, how would he when he marries you? If a man abuses you verbally during courtship it’s a sign he will do worse after wedding. Always pay attention to any attitude your partner displays when courting because it’s just a preamble…
If a man beats you up when you are dating, don’t you think he would do worse when he marries you? If a man does not respect his parents, why do you think he would respect you when he marries you? If crocodile could eat their own eggs, what would they not do to the flesh of toads? If he could disrespect his parents, then he will do worse to you. If something does not work in a relationship, how do you think it could work in a marriage? Dating gives you time to know how compatible you are, and when you know that you are not compatible, then you separate! A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage, and every relationship must not end in marriage.
It’s not about the outside, but the inside─ it’s not about who the person is outside but inside. It’s not about the quantity but the quality. Could he/she deliver what is expected of him/her? Your first question should be if the person is God fearing, and not the type of car he drives or how much he earns. Anyone who does not have the fear of God can do outrageous things in marriage.
Don’t rush to get married, take things easy. Some people that rushed into marriage are now regretting it. If they had waited a little bit, they would have avoided some mistakes they are now regretting. Any decision made out of desperation has never ended well, so why would you rush things? Those things you are rushing to explore, one day you will get tired of them. Wait a little. Tomorrow is not that far as you are thinking. The reason why it seemed far is because you are in haste, and you are also desperate. That is why you are thinking that your clock is slow.
God does not want you to endure marriage but to enjoy it. Are you enjoying your marriage or enduring? Do you feel lost and broken; standing in the middle of the road not knowing where to go? Is that marital choice you made hurting you? Are you having silent tears all the night? Already tire of your marriage; stuck? But that is not the end of the road.
Why not read this practical book titled “Tears of a Woman” to see how someone successfully handled her broken marriage.
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