In Sex Is Not The Strategy, Chidinma Onuoha preaches a gospel that is deep in truth and practicality. With a simple message, she tears down societal norms that limit, label, and endanger women who are in abusive relationships.
From time immemorial, women have always been the disadvantaged sex. Even in the Christian Faith with its beliefs rooted in the virtues of love and fairness, there are tales of abusive spouses who go as far as using biblical doctrines as tools to manipulate those whom they have sworn to love and protect. This entire situation is hopeless because the only principle given by ‘Leaders of the Flock’ and ‘Well-wishers’ is Submission. It begs the question, “if God is such a righteous Father, why then does He allow such injustice?”
But God is fair and righteous and has since the beginning of time, provided us with the tools to get out of hopeless situations. We just have to seek and find, and that is where Chidinma Onuoha comes in. Through her profound, succinct, and thought-provoking words, she has become an instrument of light, guiding us (women), through scriptural references and cold-hearted facts. Armed with the bravery of the women before us, she smartly, subtly, and lovingly shares insights on all the ways we can reposition and re-label ourselves from disadvantageous situations to elevated positions. Brazenly, she does not underemphasize the importance of sex in marriage but disagrees with the message that pedals sex as the ultimate solution to marital problems, especially spousal abuse.
With every page and with every courageous woman she cites, Onuoha continues to echo that, “Trusting God does not mean being docile.” However, it is the simplicity and grace with which she writes, that makes this a truly remarkable book. I am not the biggest fan of self-help books, but this one is outstanding, necessary, and biblical without being preachy. Brutally honest, with the right blend of sentimentality and the cold reality that hits at the truth without fear or favor, Onuoha’s Sex Is Not The Strategy is a book that appeals to both genders. It acknowledges that anyone can be a victim of spousal abuse, whilst providing easy-to-apply solutions. It is a book for everyone, even single people who wish to build healthy relationships.
With the subtlety of Tamar, the wisdom of Jochebed, and the courage of Abigail, Onuoha challenges us all to seek a life of fulfillment.
Review by Nwadiuto Okwuniru Azugo (Calm).