Dear Bobosko’s Diary,
Is it i turning against what my Dad expects from me? Or is it my Dad turning against what I want for myself?
I don’t understand why I wont be allowed to make my own decisions. I don’t understand why I should be monitored like an infant all the time. After all, I now know the difference between good and bad.
Right from childhood, I always want to do everything my elder sister does. I enjoy seeing my sister’s two fine breasts held by a brassiere. I enjoy seeing her sway her buttocks left and right in a leggings. I enjoy seeing her sit for hours to make that hairstyle — long weaved all back — on her head, and the make up on her face. I enjoy seeing these things because I also want to do things the way she does them.
I always want to look like a girl: that’s why I took to wearing my sister’s clothes. When she noticed this, she bought me some female stuff. They all look nice on me; the brassieres, the pants, the crop tops, the leggings, the make up and my growing hair. I even do have thoughts of myself walking around with sanitary pads in my private parts, but the doctor said it would affect my balls. But who cares?
My mum and my sister are both okay and cool with everything I did, but my dad wasn’t.
Next month, I’ll be 14 and I’ll have to resume a new class. I told my Dad to help me gain admission into a girls only secondary school, but he went berserk. He got mad at me that I almost felt like lashing out at him too.
He flogged me that day, punished me. He said he can never give birth to a woman in form of a boy. He even said I’m on the path to becoming homosexual! He broke a bone in my finger and even had the guts to call me —his own son — a bastard!
Is it a crime to want to create my own world? Is it a crime to have my own preferences? Is it a crime to…to… Is it a crime?
If it seems I’m the one who doesn’t understand the basis for my Dad’s actions, I hope you’ll be quick and kind enough to tell me. And if it seems he is the one who wants to frustrate me for not walking in his own path, I hope he’ll be quick and kind enough to tell you when I’m gone.